Fears are Only Walls that Hold Me Here.

I Shall be Free of those Voices Inside Me.

Twenty years later, this song still...rocks. There is a sort of storm going on inside of me right now and it's hard to organize my thoughts and emotions into a blog post. Sometimes, there are moments of calm and I can write pieces of what I'm discovering, but I don't see a linear pattern yet. LOL.

Time, Truth and Hearts.

The Geisha: Finished for now.

The Creative Process: The Geisha

Day 1

My intention was to paint a heart. I had a sketch and everything (see previous post).

I painted it. I didn't like it. It was ugly. I hated the flames. It looked like a light bulb.

My thoughts:

Why is this so ugly?

I give up! Why can't I paint a heart? What a waste of a canvas! I can't waste a canvas.

Maybe it's not time to paint a heart yet.

Leave it alone.

Conclusion:

Frustration.

Day 2

Since I can't waste a canvas, I decided to make the heart the background layer. I will hide it.

 This is my solution to fix the heart problem. I decided to paint a geisha and just study form and color instead. Her kimono is the shape of the heart, and she hides it.

My thoughts:

I'm painting a geisha. What does this say about me?
Why am I trying to cover up the heart instead of fixing it?

Conclusion:

No conclusion.

Day 3

I'm feeling vulnerable tonight and I want to work it out on the canvas. I don't feel the calming blue/green of the current background. I want to feel power. I start painting the color red. It's my favorite color and I start feeling calmer. It doesn't make sense to me, but it's okay. I know that my art is not for anyone else. I know it's healing me. I feel calm, so I paint her kimono turquoise to express that.

My thoughts:

I hope I dream about this.

Because you came from somewhere inside of me, I'll paint black and white stars in your horizon.

Conclusion:

My art is powerful because it heals me. This is my creative process.

El Corazón II

Introducing the conception of El Corazón II. I don't like what I did to the first one. I figured out that I didn't freehand sketch it in my own style when I started it. Don't pay too much attention to the messiness of this simple drawing. Instead, try to imagine what it would look like if you could color it in. I love bright colors. I love bold outlines. My style might be a grown-up version of a ripped page from a coloring book that I designed myself. If you had to color this page, how would you color it?

All that time wasted.

*Mi Vida Loca*

I don't have any tattoos. But if I did have a tattoo, it would be beautiful typography that would say "Mi Vida Loca". I wouldn't put an image of Carmen Miranda over the top of the lettering, though. Why ruin perfectly good kerning and leading. I would have them draw an image of a zebra butterfly. West Side.

BNE Water Foundation

"Love connects us."

 

"Love Connects Us" by Athalia, age 7

 This is a drawing that Athalia gave to me this morning. She says that love brings people together. I think it's the invisible force that pulls us from all directions and causes us to accomplish great things for humankind. This was inspiring today.

Happy Birthday, Athalia.

You inspire me every day.



1-2-3-4-5

 

A zebra is one of my dream symbols. If I see one in my waking life, I count my fingers on one hand and I have five. If I see one in my dream, I count the fingers on one hand and I usually have more than five or less than five and I know I'm dreaming. At this point in my dream, I know that anything is possible.

Finding Inspiration in the Dentist Chair

This is me sitting in the dentist chair, waiting for the dentist to come back. I'm bored here. These are my favorite pants from Old Navy. They're comfortable and I use them a lot to paint, hence the paint splatters on the lower portion of the pants leg. These are my favorite shoes. I've had them since 2004 and I will probably have them forever since they're broken in nicely.

The dentist's office is kind of old. Thank goodness there's a window with a bright red frame and matching fence on the other side. They really thought this out. I like the way the light reflects on the glass and adds another dimension. It looks like there's a magical doorway somewhere in between the glass and the fence. Like a hologram, maybe?  Each station has a flat-screen television, but that doesn't interest me and it actually increases my anxiety level. I want this appointment to be over.

Having a Coke With You

El Corazón

This is the Loteria card I'm working on right now. I've done so much to this heart. I didn't like the flames, so I changed them. I changed the surrounding color from orange to aqua last night. Tonight I have no idea what I'll do to it but now that I'm looking at this picture, I wish I would have just left it alone. It's going to require a couple more coats of color to get that folk look.

Love & Be Lovable.

It sounds like a Bob Marley song. 

Twilight

According to Wikipedia, twilight is the time between dawn and sunrise or sunset and dusk. As the days become shorter in Texas, I will have many opportunities to see the sun paint the sky in the morning. The sunrise this morning reminded me of the sunrises in Arizona. I suppose they may look the same everywhere... I always thought the orange and purple blend of color against the black silhouettes was the inspiration behind the Phoenix Suns brand identity. What do you think?

Changes to Okipe

I couldn't sleep last night so I woke up and decided to add color to my latest painting. When I looked at the picture I was using for reference, I saw hues of purples, blues and magentas that I didn't notice before. I also added more layers to the outside of the image and black around the figure to give it those bold, black lines that I can't seem to live without. I believe that doing this also adds more depth. I love the way it's looking now. I think I could still add some more to it, but I'll let the painting "breathe" for a little while. If it needs something else, I'm sure it will speak to me. I was talking to one of my coworkers about the creative process this morning, and how it is more intuitive as opposed to linear. He said the artwork is "revealing itself". I really like that.

Packaging My Artwork for Shipping

 

I'm mailing El Gallo tomorrow. Tonight I'm packaging it in a handmade box that I've constructed from black foam core and duct tape. I've enclosed the painting in black acid-free matte board and double-wrapped it in bubble wrap. I think his new owner is going to like it.

Okipe

"Okipe" - Karina Prado

I just finished a piece called "Okipe". Okipe is an orphanage in La Gonave, Haiti. when this painting sells, I will donate fifty percent of the proceeds to the orphanage.

Okipe

To view item on Etsy:
http://www.etsy.com/listing/84054801/this-ones-for-haiti-okipe-original

El Gallo





I love this painting so much. I'm going to miss it and I'm so happy that I know where it will be. I know it was time to let go of it, because of the special person who purchased it and the opportunity I have to contribute to a worthy cause. This is such a small world, and art makes it so much smaller. It connects us. Everything I create finds its way back to me.

Update

The Birth of Venus - Sandro Botticelli

I am moved. The world around me is inspiring me to get loud, and my voice is art. I've been suffering a sort of creative block for the past year. I think that creative block may happen to me when I've drained whatever source of inspiration I've been feeding from. It is a time to grow, to return to the place inside where artistic ideas are conceived. This season of waiting has been long, and now I feel the anticipation of something new growing inside me, almost ready to enter the world. The other night I dreamed that I was going to give birth, and my belly was grossly protruding as if the baby inside was long overdue. In the dream my older sister told me that it was time, and asked me what was I afraid of. So today I am asking myself, "What am I afraid of?"